Dating as a single parent
If you are a single parent and approaching dating again no doubt your big questions are to do with your budget; introducing your children; balancing time with your children vs. time with your new date and undoubtedly where to go to meet someone if you’re single.
The critical questions that might come up for you with regard to your budget could include do you have enough money for a babysitter; can you afford the venue where you are going to; can you afford the subscription to the dating agency and events. When you consider introducing your children you might be thinking when is the right time to introduce them; what will my date think of my kids; will they get on and what if we become attached and we break up. With children it is always a question of time commitment to the children, versus time for yourself, work and of any time you put into a new date or partner.
What are some of the options in regards to some of these questions? If you are on a limited budget consider getting help for babysitting. Don’t be too proud to ask friends, family, neighbours and networks to look after your children. Even offer to swap a service with someone – be that a neighbour caring for your children for a few hours while you do their groceries. Find a student in your area or even plan to meet up with your date during the day for a coffee or lunch while your children are in care or at school.
People have different ideas on when to introduce children to dates. I would recommend you get to know your date as best as you can before you take this step, but also gauge your dates’ interest in meeting with your children as well. Once you do all meet up a great way to see how everyone gets along and often an easier way for everyone is to get involved in some kind of activity. Take a ball to the park and kick it round; go bowling together. Anything that is a bit physical, fun and able to be done by everyone involved. If you are worried about children getting attached, then realize that in any relationship this can happen and it is a risk, but choose as wisely as you can. Try and be open with your children at each step.
If you want to date and have a relationship, you have to make it a priority, otherwise it just won’t happen. Let your children know they are still special and important when you go dating again. Keep doing special things with them. However, put yourself as a priority too and feel okay about going out and having fun dating again.
Lastly, where do you go to meet single available people if you yourself are a single parent? Anywhere! The list is extensive. From dating agencies and their events to meeting other single parents via your child’s preschools, schools, sporting and other activities. You can meet others via your interests and involvements, via your community and via the internet, via introduction agencies and hopping on a bus or walking the dog. The opportunities and limitations are only in your head!
Denise Corlett is the founder of datingadvice.co.nz and helps single professional men and women find, attract and be in successful relationships.
For more personalised help go to www.datingadvice.co.nz
